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Image by Verne Ho

From Darkness to Light: Overcoming the
Shadows of Sexual Assault

"For years, I endured sexual assault from my brother, starting in secondary school and continuing into adulthood—a nightmare I couldn’t escape."

My story is one of resilience, though for a long time, I didn’t believe I had any strength left. I was in my second year of studying philosophy at university, and from the outside, I seemed like an ordinary young woman. But beneath the surface, I was carrying a weight so heavy that it was breaking me. For years, I endured continuous sexual assault at the hands of my own brother. It started in secondary school and followed me into adulthood, a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

 

The pain and trauma consumed me. I had suicidal thoughts, I self-harmed, I couldn't sleep, and the emotional distress felt unbearable at times. I was drowning in darkness, but I found a sliver of hope when I reached out for help. That’s when AWT stepped in, offering me the support I desperately needed to begin navigating the chaos inside of me.

It wasn’t easy to trust again, but slowly, I found a safe space in counseling, a place where I could finally let out the fears and the trauma that had been suffocating me for so long. I had a lot of work to do, healing isn’t straightforward, but with the help of my counselor, I started to confront my past, and little by little, I began to reclaim my life.

 

We made an emergency plan to address my immediate needs, ensuring I got the medical attention required to start healing physically as well. My counselor introduced me to new ways of coping, like drawing butterflies on my skin when I felt the urge to self-harm, reminding me that I’m meant to live, that God has given me value, and that He wants me to have a happy life. Spending time by the river, and finding peace in nature, were things that helped me hold on.

But healing went deeper than just treating the symptoms of trauma. Together, my counselor and I explored my thoughts, my emotions, and all the unmet needs that I’d buried. We faced the guilt, the shame, and the distorted self-image that had haunted me, working toward understanding myself in a new way, a healthier way.​

In the depths of my struggle, I turned to prayer, finding a quiet strength in my faith. I recited the Prayer of Serenity, asking God for peace, for courage, and for wisdom as I walked this painful path:

“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  

Courage to change the things I can,  

And wisdom to know the difference.  

Help me to live one day at a time,  

Enjoying each moment as it comes.  

Help me to accept hardships and pass through them to find peace.  

Help me to accept the world and people as they are, not as I want them to be.  

Help me to change myself,  

Confident that you are the Sovereign and will do all things well if I surrender my heart and life to your will.” 

Amen

Through it all, I began to find my strength, leaning on both my faith and the support of those who loved me. I started to rediscover parts of myself I had lost—finding comfort in drawing, crocheting, learning new languages, and spending time with my family. With each counseling session, I began to see progress. Slowly, I started to make decisions that felt empowering, decisions that were mine.

 

I’m not entirely free from the shadows of my past, but I’m no longer chained to them. No harm has come to me since I started this journey and day by day, I’m getting closer to the peace and wholeness I’ve been seeking for so long.

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A drawing of a butterfly to remind me that I am meant to live, God has given me a value and wants me to have a happy life, this is a method to stop me from harming myself.

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